Since the end of World War II, things have been getting out of hand. That's why the need for super spies is undeniable. It's global calamity out there, and for a decade and a half, they've been keeping America blissfully unaware of the hard-boiled bad guys bent on global domination beyond its borders, safe in its suburban womb while the FBI and the CIA and the rest of America's alphabet soup of intelligence cower under their desks.

This report centers on a few of the elite. The following information is incredibly, seriously, extremely classified. When you are finished reading it, please print out this report and eat it.

MADAME WONG
LI PING HOT POT CHAIN
EVIL
CHONQUING
CURRENTLY LOW

Is she Chinese? Is she female? Given the shape-shifting history of this brilliant mastermind, one should take nothing for granted. Little is known about this alluring enigma that could be deemed factual, other than her engineering genius and an inclination toward criminal acquisition of wealth and resources. She is a passionate inventor obsessed with manifesting any heinous idea she happens to conjure. Inevitably, she always has a number of her devices at her disposal; day or night, she is never disarmed.

F.R.O.S.T. psychologists have advanced the theory that she has a matryoshkan psychosis. That is, she suffers from a form of split personality in which a variety of personas dwell within each other, rather than side by side. Her inmost persona is apparently aware of all the others, yet the outermost persona knows nothing of the entities that are nested within. Each identity, it seems, can look outward, but not inward. Could it be that the inmost persona is the true Madame Wong?

ERIC VON BRACKEN
REICH 3.5
MEGALOMANIAC
ARGENTINA
HIGH

Der Fuhry may be a distant cousin of Adolph Hitler's or he may be not, but his followers certainly think he is. He has set up an organization of escaped Nazis in Argentina and continues Adolph's noble work. He seems to have a never ending source of funds which suggests he has a hidden stash of Nazi Gold.

Just like his idol, he has numerous health problems including extreme bipolar disorder and chronic flatulence. He can go from a screaming tantrum one moment to a deep funk the next, bemoaning his borrowed power and wondering why anyone would follow him. His Nazi sycophants tolerate this because they believe he's Hitler's successor. So they coddle and cajole him down the path to world domination. They're such brown-nosers that when Der Fuhry farts, they stand and salute, "Heil Hitler...'s cousin Eric!"

SHEEBA BLOTSKI
FREE AGENT
KILLER
ROMANIA (LAST SEEN)
ASBURDLY HIGH

F.R.O.S.T. files on Blotski are somewhat thin. It is known that she is from Bulgaria but other information on her origins is unavailable. Her physical capabilities make her an intriguing mystery. Literally the strongest human being on Earth, it is not known if this was the result of a naturally occurring freakish condition or the result of genetic or other type of science experimentation.

Her physical capabilities are impressive. Often referred to as a human forklift, we have data that she has been able to lift up to 5000 pounds unaided, but that is just from our past encounters. Since she has never been captured we do not have any definitive data. We know that she has explosives and firearms knowledge but her primary use and mode of defense is utilizing her superior strength. She appears to be a relatively free agent but is usually working for the Soviet bloc intelligence services.

DR. REDWOOD
UNKNOWN
MAD SCIENTIST
UNKNOWN
OUTRAGEOUSLY HIGH

Redwood, a megalomidget botanist gone wrong, is backed by hulking henchmen with flower names like Pansy, Petunia, and Daisy. He has an Amazon girlfriend named Acacia who gives him a bath. He lives in a mirrored glass terrarium structure, with mirrors on the inside. Sure the outside world can see in, but on the inside it seems much roomier. Everything is built to his scale so others have to stoop.

His schemes are diabolical, altering the genetic makeup of plants to halt evolutionary growth and creating giant strains of plants to dwarf regular people of whom he is envious. He is considered extremely dangerous; his diabolical experiments with plant life make his capture treacherous. Redwoods garden of evil includes horrific fauna such as the Venus Mantrap, Boa Constrictor Vines, Acidic Stinkweed, Pyscho-traumatic herbs, and Gargantuan Ant Plants just to name a few. Many brave Agents and civil servants have fallen prey to these Plantae Malificus.

ELEKTRA NICKERS
HIGH VOLTAGE INDUSTRIES
HOMICIDAL TYCOON
UNKNOWN
OUTRAGEOUSLY HIGH

This electrifying female changes loyalties as frequently as she changes her underwear. A beautiful siren, she lures unsuspecting victims to a shocking death. Ensconced in her rubber lair (rubber for her pleasure since she conducts electricity with her touch) she is plotting the next use for her shocking talents. She markets her malevolent electro-munitions to the highest bidder. Her allure is high voltage and she has a wide network of high level government officials on the wire. Those that stray end up as charred remains but they do have a smile on their face. A wise agent once said, "When fighting an electrified minx such as Knickers, it's best to have a rubber spatula."

KATO NINETAILS
UNKNOWN
EVIL OVERLORD
UNKNOWN
ULTRA HIGH

The origins and birth name of this anti-American sadist have not been determined. Similarly, nothing is known of whatever political or philosophical creed has left him with such a vicious hatred of the U.S. government and its people. F.R.O.S.T. analysts suspect his primary motivation is to simply wreak havoc for its own sake even if it means perishing in a blaze of notoriety and infamy. His standard m.o. is to place American icons in very theatrical peril, as when he threatened to destroy Hoover Dam. An equally flamboyant undertaking was a failed attempt to turn the Florida peninsula into an island through a series of nuclear explosions. Ninetails seems to place more importance in keeping his name before the public than in actually succeeding with his outlandish schemes. Aiding him in this passionate pursuit of flamboyance is his voluptuous assistant and probable girlfriend or sister, Dandy Veneer. As with Ninetails, we see in her more style than substance, and it is anyone’s guess why these two have not yet been apprehended, given their apparent lack of criminal genius.