Since the end of World War II, things have been getting out of hand. That's why the need for super spies is undeniable. It's global calamity out there, and for a decade and a half, they've been keeping America blissfully unaware of the hard-boiled bad guys bent on global domination beyond its borders, safe in its suburban womb while the FBI and the CIA and the rest of America's alphabet soup of intelligence cower under their desks.
This report centers on a few of the elite. The following information is incredibly, seriously, extremely classified. When you are finished reading it, please print out this report and eat it.
Carmen Voluptuous is a special agent from a classified secret organization. Only Ms. Butterpat knows where she comes from and neither one of them is telling. Carmen often appears and disappears mysteriously, brought in for a specific purpose by Butterpat, occasionally to the irritation of Butterpat's team.
Carmen is queenly, sexy, and can easily make men switch their loyalties. She has very little patience and a profound belief that her way is the right way. The only person she will defer to is Butterpat; everyone else gets her full dosage of attitude. She has no tolerance for stupidity and if you try to go around her she just might shoot you in the buttock.
Vaughn McCallum, MI6. The suave, sophisticated McCallum has a penchant for intense, dangerous missions- which he terms "smelts"- that separate the men from the boys. Somehow he always keeps a cool head regardless of the situation. His alias of choice is "Roberto Davide" with which he uses a razor-sharp Catalonian accent, honed during his years in a Barcelona monastery. He is a fashion-conscious Porsche-driving epicurean, a master of twelve languages and accents (including American Sign Language and Cherokee), and a devotee of the ukulele. He describes himself as a three-time divorcéé, but we have been unable to confirm this claim. As for his work with F.R.O.S.T., it is curious that in spite of his exemplary record he has amassed significant infractions which have arisen from his abrasive relationship with colleague Martin Carnaby.
